I want a dataport in the side of my head

I want it to record everything I've ever said

I want it to track me everywhere that I go

I want it to inform me of the things I should know

I want to get your message the instant that you send

I want the flood of information coming without end


I want to have each second of my day and night planned

I want to transmit my lectures through the land

I want to be findable for you to see and hear

I want a cell phone chip mounted in my ear

I want a more efficient way to structure my life

I want an electronic hug from my wife


My built-in email will get your message

My wireless voicemail will hear your outrage

My integrated calendar will tell me where to go

My automated grammar checker makes my words flow

My synthesized voice chip will do the speaking

My digital camera will do the peeking


bridge: E8 E8 VERSE:E4


Put in a global tracker so I won't get lost

Install a calculator so I'll know the cost

Make sure there is a back door so you can peek

And find out if my thoughts really are unique

While you're at it put more memory inside

And a program to take over just in case I've died


October 13, 1999

Revised October 15, 1999

Re-revised October 17, 1999

Words and music by Bill Griffin

Copyright 1999 Bill Griffin