Scans by the TSA

(Tune: Born in the USA)

Flyin’ home thru LAX

Airport early for security checks

Bags scanned while I stood in line

But the full body scanner I did decline

Scans by the TSA, scans by the TSA

Scans by the TSA, scans by the TSA

God gave Adam and Eve some clothes

So we wouldn’t see a lot between the knees and nose

But this new machine shows all it can

Like the X-ray vision of Superman

Scans by the TSA, scans by the TSA

Scans by the TSA, scans by the TSA

Ran outta there as fast as I could scat

Didn’t want no screener seein’ my fat

A few weeks later opened up my mail

Eleven thousand dollar fine and a trip to jail

In Israel they do the profile thing

Before anyone gets into a plane with wings

But the TSA will frisk my Ma

So they don't offend those who like Sharia law

If a priest did this they would incarcerate

But a TSA agent does it for the State

They say they do it to keep us safe and sound

But you know, not one bad boy has been found

Scans by the TSA, scans by the TSA

Scans by the TSA, can’t believe this is happenin’ in the USA

Lyrics by Bill Griffin November 20, 2010

Commissioned by Brandon Schmidly