The Worship Police

We're the worship police, we're out on patrol

We come into your church to see if worship's dull

We're the worship police, we'll cite you every time

For "disorderly praisenworship" is a crime

Does your worship team know how to hold the mike

Do they ooh and ahh and are they all alike

When they swing the cord is it in time

Can they keep from doing worship crime?

We're the worship police, we're out on patrol

We come into your church to see if worship's dull

Our detectives look around to see if it's the best

Cause if it's not we'll place you under hymnal arrest

Does your song progression move from fast to slow

Are there less than four songs the people know

Cause if you throw some oldies into the jam

You might be committing a worship scam

We're the worship police, we're out on patrol

We come into your church to see if the sanctuary's full

We're the worship police, we examine every song

We protect the public just in case you're doing it wrong

Undercover agents on the front row

Have told us that you've quite a show

You've planned it all without a flaw

Even your interruptions keep the law!

We're the worship police, we're out on patrol

We come into your church to see if worship's dull

We're the worship police, we'll cite you every time

For "disorderly praisenworship" is a Charismatic crime

February 7, 1997

Music and lyrics by Bill Griffin

Note: I wrote the lyrics before I had a tune, and I considered doing this as a rap song.