Well I walked into my oral comp one day

And this is what they said

"Write a song about the Bible department

However you feel led"


So here goes


(Larry Williams)

Mr. Larry, Mr. Larry

Tell me what there is I must know for the test?


[50's Rock and Roll]

Everything in the books, give me the slopes

Everything in your notes, give me the slopes

And everything that I missed, give me the slopes

Give me the slopes


(Mark McLean)

Dr. Mark, Dr. Mark,

Tell what it is you mean when you say:


[Jewish Style]

The relationship between the nexus of the space-time continuum

And proto-Canaanite fertility worship

Has implications for the Church today

In a blue book or less, tell me what are they?


(Terry Lewis)

Dr. Doc, Dr. Doc,

Tell me why you keep as busy as you do?


[Tune:Spiders and Snakes]

He said, "I don't want a Maranatha estate

That's why I won't hesitate to burn out

You fool you fool

I don't want a Maranatha estate

That's why I won't hesitate to burn out (for Jesus)

You fool you fool


(Ed MacAlmon)

Mr. Ed, that's soon to be Dr. Ed

Have I a justified belief I'll get an "A"?


[80's hard rock]

I've got empirical evidence about your syntax

That you've never been through English comp

You've got too many new animals in your zoo

To think critically

Not a chance

Not a chance

Not a chance


(Twila Edwards)

Mrs. Twila, Mrs. Twila

Tell me 'bout your favorite author and his flaws


[2nd Chapter of Acts style]

Praise Aslan

You asked me that question

Saint Lewis

I read all I can

And his only flaw

Is that he was a man


(Gary Liddle)

Mr. Gary, Mr. Gary,

Please sing a song of what you do in class


[Tune: Surfin' Safari]

Let's get off the track

Everyone's asleep in back

Come on a tangent with me

Come on a tangent with me

Here's 13 bibliographies you ought to have

Which give you the perspectives you need

I don't know how we got off on this

But it's very interesting indeed


Well I've sung my song and poked a little

At those who've taught me well

And this last thing I'd like to say:

Thanks! I think you're swell



April 15, 1985

Lyrics and some of the music by Bill Griffin

Commissioned by the professors in the Bible department when they gave me my oral comprehensive exam.

Copyright 1985 Bill Griffin